There's A Land Far Away

I was delving into the hymnbook this evening and reacquainted myself with this gem.  I hope it will soothe your soul like it did mine...

There's a land far away 'mid the stars we are told,
Where they know not the sorrows of time,
Where the pure waters flow, thro' the valleys of gold,
And where life is a treasure sublime:
'Tis the land of our God, 'tis the home of the soul,
Where the ages of spendor eternally roll,
Where the way-weary traveler reaches his goal,
On the evergreen mountains of life.

Here our gaze cannot soar to that beautiful land,
But our visions have told of its bliss,
And our souls by the gale from its gardens are fanned,
When we faint in the deserts of this;
And we sometimes have longed for its holy repose
When our hearts have been rent with temptations and woes,
And we've drank from the tide of the river that flows
From the evergreen mountains of life.

Oh, the stars never tread the blue heavens at night,
But we think where the ransomed have trod,
And the day never smiles from his palace of light,
But we feel the bright smile of our God:
We are traveling home through earth's changes and gloom,
To a region where pleasures unchangingly bloom,
And our guide is the glory that shines through the tomb,
From the evergreen mountains of life.

~~James G Clark

I was singing this at the piano and when I got to verse two the music got very wobbly because suddenly there were tears.  How many times have our hearts been "rent with temptations and woes" and we've felt so faint, but suddenly there was the "gale" from that land beyond that fanned our weary spirits?  And notice how it says "gale".  I love that!  Not a wisp of air now and then, or even a light breeze that just teases, but a gale!  Like when you are outside working and you are so hot you think you just might perish, but then, there it is---a delicious heavy breeze that cools you down and makes you feel you can continue working.  Those old Christians knew what it was all about!  I love to get into their hymns and "listen" to them talk about this road and its trials all held up against the backdrop of eternity and God the Almighty.  They knew the road was hard---notice how they don't gloss that over.  But they also knew that what lay at the end of the road would be completely worth the struggle, and, most important of all, they knew The One who had the Strength to get them there.

So that's where I've been today---getting my soul fanned by the gale.  How 'bout you?  =)

The Prayer

While out with Fred the other evening I was, as usual, cogitating on topics to post about.  I had started putting ideas together about something, but then out of the blue, this prayer came to mind, so I thought I'd share it instead.  =)

"O Lord, support us all the day long, until the shadows lengthen and the evening comes, and the busy world is hushed, and the fever of life is over, and our work is done.  Then in Thy mercy grant us a safe lodging, and a holy rest, and peace at the last.  Amen."

Have you heard it before?  Isn't it so beautiful?  For me, it's one of those things that is so poignantly beautiful it nearly makes me want to weep every time I hear it.  I'm sure you have those things too.  You know what I mean---something that when you hear it/see it it gives you goosebumps or a thrill or makes you want to cry.  Sometimes it's a song, or a poem, or a story. Or maybe it's a place of special meaning---like the Tomb of The Unknown Soldier or the Statue of Liberty.   Personally, I have quite a few!  And this prayer is one of them.  I'm not exactly sure why this prayer does it for me more than others, but I think it has a great deal to do with how I first heard it.   My Uncle Charles.  He was the first person I heard to pray this prayer, and every time I hear or read it, it is my Uncle Charles' voice that I hear.  He didn't just read it, like so many words on a page.  He spoke it, like poetry in motion,  words devoutly changing from black to color right in front of you. He made them mean something.  I can't say what I see in my mind when I hear these words.  It's rather like an elusive dream that is there, and is familiar, but can't be put into words.  Know what I mean?  However,  I can tell you there is poignancy and warmth there---like years and years of past graces received all tied into today's communication and devotion to God.  Like praying this prayer that so many faithful have prayed before me not only lets me communicate with God, but also, somehow, ties me to the devout ones who have gone before me.  Does that make sense?  It feels like maybe what the hymn writer meant when he penned "mystic sweet communion with those whose rest is won".  There is some kind of sharing there.  I can't explain it, but I feel it.  There is history in this prayer---the history of those who have tried and found God's graces to be sure, of those who have depended on Him as the answer for Everything.  There is hope in it too.  Hope that, since the faithful before me have made it through to "peace at the last", I can also.  It's amazing how just a few short words, devoutly written---devoutly spoken, can mean all of that.   But they do.  Thank you, Uncle Charles, for bringing them to life for me.

A Home Without Fear

I wanted to post something for Father's Day, but alas, did not manage it.  However, we don't have to relegate posts about good fathers to one day in the year do we?  So.  Here goes.

As an adult I see blessings differently than I did as a child.  Or maybe I should say I see different blessings.  As a child there are the basics: hugs, food, warm bed.  As an adult, those blessings become expanded and more complex.  Food involves money and job and budgeting and you begin to realize all that goes into providing for a family.  This goes for the warm bed as well.  When you are the one responsible for the job and bill paying you become much more aware of what your parents gave and sacrificed to provide a good home in which to grow up.  But one of the blessings I have been thinking of lately concerns the character of my parents, particularly my dad.  I hear horror stories about children growing up in homes where they are abused in all kinds of ways, sometimes even killed, and again and again I am reminded of the blessing of having a True Christian father.  I say "True" Christian, because there are men who profess to be "Christian" and still carry out the most unspeakable abuse against their children.  Hence the necessity of the distinction.  I never, ever had to live in fear about my dad coming home from work (unless I had been bad! And then it wasn't really fear, just not wanting punishment! lol).  I didn't have to worry if he would beat me or my sisters or my mother, whether he would be drunk, whether he would bring home others who would do who-knows-what to me.  The older I get and the more horrific stories I hear, the more I realize just how blessed I was.  I can't imagine what some children go through on a daily basis, or the kind of fear they live with every moment.  I am grateful I never had to experience that.  So this Father's Day (and every day, really) I say "Thanks Dad! (and Mom too!)" for the blessing of a home without fear.

It's been too long.  Yes, I know this. Obviously my April challenge faltered midway through!  The problem with trying to blog every day, for me at least, is that after a week or so it is no fun anymore.  Instead of an outlet for creativity, it becomes another stressor---something I really don't need!  So I just quit.  There.  I said it.  =)  The trouble with quitting on something like a blog (or a diet!), is that it is hard to get back into it.  There has been an ongoing post list in my head, but somehow just not the impetus there to begin again.  So there went April......and May.......and here we are into June (and nearly halfway through that, I might add!).  You might be wondering, why now?  What gave me that final push to give it another heave-ho?  A friend posted to his blog after 2 years of being MIA.  2 years!  So see, there is hope for me!  =)  He said that even though there were many other things in his life that he loved, he really missed writing.  Something in me resounded with that.  It's strange that even though trying to keep a blog and do everything else I enjoy sometimes stresses me, when I don't do it I miss it.  So I'm not sure how to schedule everything, but having a blog is definitely something I want in my life.  I never thought I would like writing, but as it turns out, I do.  I have no idea what that means in terms of regularity of posting---probably not much different that it has in the past! lol  Don't look for a post every day by any means.   But I really want to try to cram some writing in, in between sewing bags and dyeing towels and making cheese and crocheting and pinning and essential oil potion making and card-making and knitting and gardening and long dates with Fred.  Oh, and work too.......Oy!

Fred

So today I had my first date of the season with Fred.  Yes, he's a seasonal date.  Doesn't come out much in Winter.  =)  It was a beautiful day here, so I knew that after work I really had to get out in the yard and do something.  There are all manner of choices, actually.  It's so I never get bored.  Mowing, raking, digging up flower beds, trimming bushes, hauling away brush, raking pine needles (my personal fave!  ugh), etc.  Such variety here on my little "homestead"!  I decided to go with Fred today mostly because I needed to see if the mower would run after the Winter or cough and die like it did last Spring.  Nothing like having a lawn desperately in need of mowing only to have your mower die.  Not fun!  But last Fall I did 2 things differently.  One, I put the mower inside (in the old house on the property, not inside as in where I live! lol), and two, I put stabilizer in the fuel tank.  So this afternoon 'bout 3 I dragged myself out to the old house and brought 'ol Fred into the light of day.  I really did Not feel like working in the yard, but I made myself get out there, and as usual, after getting out there and getting going it was quite pleasant.  You get a bit of a "runner's high" after working hard outside, not to mention the sense of satisfaction after looking around at what you've accomplished. Anyway, back to Fred.  I pulled him out into the yard and gave a pull on the cord (after checking gas and oil, of course!).  One, two, three pulls and he came to life.  What a relief!  However, last Spring he started and ran for a few minutes and died.  So I let him run for a bit--which he did quite well, then started off around the front yard.  An hour and a half later the entire front yard was done and that little mower never skipped a beat!  Seriously, that mower has been worth every single cent I paid for it.  It's from Sears and I would recommend the brand/model to anyone.  I was concerned it wouldn't run, I'd have to take it to the shop, they wouldn't get it done for a week or two and I would be left with a hayfield.  Again.  But thanks be to God, my concerns did not materialize.  Such a relief!!  I'm quite pleased with myself as well.  This is the first Spring I've gotten the front lawn mowed before it was so thick I could hardly mow it!  Yay! (patting myself on the back)  Now to go take some ibuprofen and drink my tea........=)

My Name Is CJ and I'm A Chocoholic....

I think I may be addicted to chocolate.  Really!  What's that?  I didn't blog yesterday?  Yes, I know.  Thank you for reminding me of my failure.  Didn't take me long to bust that challenge wide open.  But I have a good reason.  Well, no, really I don't.  You see what had happened was.......I forgot.  I remembered, then I forgot, then when I remembered again it was too late.  But that was yesterday and today is a new day.  Remember what I said about goals vs resolutions?  =)  Now where was I when I was so rudely interrupted?  Oh yes.  My chocolate addiction.  I have loved chocolate for my whole life, but in the last couple years it has become a vital necessity---right up there with air.  I always have some around and generally eat some at least once a day.  Kind of like a vitamin, only much more pleasant! lol  The thing I've noticed is that I crave it.  No, I mean CRAVE it!  Have you ever had a craving that gnawed at you and just wouldn't go away?  One that drove you crazy until you went and got whatever it was that you were craving?  I have a theory about those cravings, and yes, I will share with you in one moment.  This crazy kind of craving is how I feel about chocolate.  When I'm working around the house, sitting at the computer, after work, after a meal, etc., the "need" can hit at any moment.  It's ridiculous, really.  So the answer I have found is to just keep some nearby.  That way I can pick up a Hershey Kiss and move on with my life instead of not being able to focus on things because I need chocolate.  The problem with chocolate is its rather high caloric content.  Combine that with my inactivity over the Winter and well, you know what is happening.  Not nice!  So when I was grocery shopping last week I purposely did not buy any chocolate, thinking that I couldn't eat it if it wasn't around and maybe it would help in the whole I-will-eat-better-and-lose weight thing.  Bad move!!  Vewy bad move!  I am going nuts!!  Ok, more nuts than I already was! Must you always point that out?  Yesterday I kept looking around for something to eat and nothing was fitting the bill because what I really wanted was chocolate.  When you want chocolate, you want chocolate.  Nothing else will do!  And today, the same thing.  I am an addict!  I mean, this craving has gnawed at me so bad the last couple days I have thought of making a batch of no-bake cookies or perhaps some cooked up chocolate syrup just to stop it! Don't ask me why I haven't just stopped by Walmart on the way home and solve this whole thing with a bag of Hershey's Kisses! I have no idea! Welcome to how my brain works! lol  I haven't quite gotten to delirium tremens yet, but who knows?  It's only been a couple days.   This 'addiction problem' is something that I've just noticed in the last maybe year or so.  Which brings me to my theory.  Sometimes I wonder if we crave foods that have things in them that we need at that particular moment.  What if our brains record and take note of foods with particular concentrations of vitamins, enzymes, minerals, etc and when our bodies need those things our brains sends out a craving alert.  Like, "Alert! Alert!  Body low on potassium!  Send craving for orange juice (or tomatoes, or dried apricots, etc) immediately!"  And of course the cravings are different for different people because our likes and dislikes are different.  Like my body is not going to tell me to crave beets if I need iron because I don't like beets much.  It would be a wasted memo and why would your body do that?  So what if there is something in chocolate that my body really needs at this particular time in my life and that's why I crave it so much?  Well!  It could be true!  Can you prove me otherwise?  Ok then.  That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!  It's either that or go sign myself up to the local CA (Chocoholics Anonymous, if you were wondering).  I'm just not ready for that.  Thankfully, it is now Spring.  I know, you're shaking your head wondering what on earth Spring has to do with my chocolate addiction.  I should just leave you wondering.  But I won't, 'cause I'm nice like that.  Spring means green grass and lots of it, which means that I will have many, many dates with Fred, the lawnmower.  This is a good thing because it also means I can keep my addiction and still lose the few pounds I gained over the Winter!  I just knew this lawnmowing would come in handy for something!  So tomorrow after work, I will be stopping at Walmart.  I just can't take it anymore!  Hershey Kiss anyone?  =)

Confessions

I have a confession to make.  No, it's nothing bad!  Just something that will be a little weird to most.  Hopefully you all will just write me off as a little eccentric and not send the men in white coats to my door!  =)  I mean, after all, we're all entitled to a little weirdness aren't we?  Ok, some of us have a lot of weirdness on board!  But where was I?  Oh yes. Confessions.  Are you ready?  Here goes:  I still have my Christmas Tree up.  Shameful isn't it?  Now, in my defense,  the tree has nothing Christmas on it and the rest of the house is not decorated for Christmas either. All the tree has on it are white lights and some sparkly brown ribbon. So really, it doesn't even qualify as a Christmas tree, does it? So it's not that weird, right?  Right??  After all, trees grow year round, and what's the difference if I have one of those living room trees with lights on it or a fake pine tree with lights on it?   But that's ok.  I don't even care if you think it's weird.  I like it and it's my house and I don't care what you think.  =)  Just don't send a psych ward posse after me!  So by now you are probably wondering why I still have my tree up.  There are a couple reasons.  One, I just haven't gotten around to putting it up in the attic yet.  But the biggest reason is the lights.  I love those lights!  The older I get, the more I am convinced I have a bit of Seasonal Affective Disorder.  Makes me sound like a real psycho doesn't it?  =)  But I have noticed how different I feel in the Winter vs the Summer.  If I lived up North I could attribute some of that to being snowbound and not able to get out and about in the yard, etc.  But here in the South, that does not apply.  Here I could work outside pretty much every day in the Winter since there is a distinct lack of snow, so that does not account for the depression I have in the Winter.  I have also noticed that having some nice lighting during the short Winter days really helps in the way I feel.  When the tree goes up at Christmas, those lights are so cheering and warm and comforting, that after Christmas is over I find it very difficult to part with them.  So most years I don't!  The lights on that tree are what help keep me going in the Winter.  Sounds crazy, I know.  But it's true.  Maybe it's because I really do have SAD, or maybe it's because I live alone, or maybe I'm just weird.  Who knows.  Take your pick!  I just know that the lights make me feel better.  So they stay---Christmas or no Christmas.  I will say that I am a little later than usual taking them down.  Maybe it's because this Spring has felt more like a continuation of Winter----or maybe I've just been lazy.......  So there you have it.  My confession in black and white.  Now you know more about my craziness than you ever wanted to know!  Well if you can't beat 'em.....join 'em!  =)